| Featuring: |
               |
| Also Featuring: |
Tom Martin Maurice Morinne |
| Written By: |
Adam |
| Edited and Posted By: |
Elad Benari |
Martins House
<Tom and Benson come into the house.>
Tom: Julie I'm home with Benson. Julie? Are you there? Benson, Julie and the kids are missing! <Benson pulls his head out of the fridge.>
Tom: What are you doing?
Benson: Just making myself a peanut butter sandwich.
Tom: That spread isn't peanut butter.
Benson: Sure it is. The label reads peanut butter....and below it in the very tiny fine print are the words, substitute, a cat will never know the difference.
<Benson is already chewing a piece of the sandwich.>
Benson: Hell humans can't tell the difference either!
Tom: Put it down. The family is missing and I bet Westers and Johnson took them!
Campbell's House
<The whole family walks in.>
Danny: Elaine we were so worried about you.
Mary: Yes we were. Thank God you're just fine. I'm just so concerned about Jessica.
Chuck: And Bob. I can't believe they brought him in for questioning, you know he'll never talk.
Danny: Why? He has a very big mouth at home.
Jodie: Danny he's a dummy.
Danny: Well lets just hope he doesn't say anything stupid!
<Burt puts his hand over his head in disgust.>
Mary: Burt I forgot to tell you! Corinne is getting married!
Burt: To who? She returned home?
Mary: Her boyfriend for three months, Maurice.
Burt: When's the wedding?
Mary: It's actually tonight but it's very small and private due to the circumstances.
Burt: I'll have to send them a present.
Mary: Oh my I forgot all about Scotty! He was sleeping hours ago.
Burt: I'll go up and check with you.
Jodie: So guys are we doing anything this evening? Maybe all of us will catch a movie?
Chuck: Oh I haven't seen a film in ages. Bob's allergic to popcorn you know. What's playing?
Jodie: Oh I wasn't actually inviting you Chuck. Don't you have your own plans.
Chuck: No not really. I'm usually just left at home with Bob on Saturday nights. And now that Bob is gone....<sniffle> I have no one!
<Chuck runs upstairs.>
Jodie: He has problems.
Elaine: Well Jodie actually Danny was taking me out tonight for an elegant meal. It's to celebrate being alive.
Jodie: Oh that sounds lovely. When are we leaving?
Elaine: Oh well we were just thinking of making it the two of us.
Danny: Oh I'm sorry Jodie. It's special to us. How about some other time. Why don't you call one of your lady friends? I mean you discovered you liked women too right?
Jodie: Yes I think I do. I just don't know.
Danny: Well you have to know! I mean here's a simple question. Does the nozzle go up with your watching movies with young women in bikini's?
Jodie: Nozzle?
Danny: You know what I mean? You know your thing.
Jodie: Thing?
Danny: Your special friend that has his own special name?
Jodie: Oh you mean little Billy Crystal?
Danny: That's his name?
Jodie: Well yea. You gotta love that guy's acting.
Danny: Well okay. Well, the fact is you have to know your own sexuality!
Jodie: Well what if I don't.
Danny: We're going to put it to the test.
Elaine: Danny we have dinner reservations.
Jodie: Test?
Danny: Yes starting tonight. Me and you are going to a strip club.
Elaine: DANNY!
Danny: Hold on a second Elaine. There's a good one in downtown Dunn's River. It's the abandoned high school.
Jodie: Oh that's where people went when they said they wanted to go and study. I never went, I thought they really wanted to study.
Danny: Yea everyone went there on weekends. That's why you never had friends in highschool. Who would want to come over and watch movies on a Saturday night when they had their own private showing five feet away from arms reach!
Elaine: Danny that's disgusting!
Jodie: How do you know it's still open?
Danny: Oh I was just there.....
<Elaine stairs at Danny.>
Danny: Many many years ago. I just know this because me and Burt tried to shut it down a while ago. Unfortunately that didn't work out. Get a jacket let's go down.
<Jodie and Danny are about to walk out the door when Elaine gets angry.>
Elaine: DANNY! What about me?
Danny: Oh yea you. If you want to come get your purse. But it's really not for you.
Elaine: Fine I'll just sit at home and be with Chuck.
Danny: Have fun!
<Danny and Jodie leave.>
Elaine: This was supposed to be my night.
Scotty's Changing Room
<Burt and Mary walk in and become alarmed.>
Mary: He's gone! The aliens took him!
Burt: Don't be too scared. There's an obvious explanation for all of this.
Mary: Yes, those little silver men took you him on a spaceship and are using him for tests.
Burt: No Mary that's just not a reason. Look the crib was opened. The aliens could just beam up Scotty. The crib was obviously opened.
Mary: Who did it?
Burt: I bet Scotty did. He's a clever child you know! Maybe it's time he gets his own bed.
Mary: Well that is if we ever find him.
<Burt opens up the closet and Scotty was hiding in it. Burt takes him out and he is laughing.>
Burt: See he was playing hide and seek.
Mary: That's not funny Scotty!
<Mary puts him to bed again and she leaves. Burt stays in the room.>
Burt: Scotty let me tell you something. If you're a little silver man please just show your true colors. Your mother is killing me about this!
Tates House
<The living is set up for the wedding. The Campbell's are missing and so is Benson who was out with Tom and has no knowledge of any wedding. Jessica is talking to Chester.>
Jessica: This is lovely. Eunice was married here and now Corinne will too. All of our children have been married in here.
Chester: Well almost everyone. Billy aren't you seeing someone?
Billy: No dad I've sworn off women since Leslie. I don't know, they're just a curse.
Chester: Not always. Sometimes they're like a special surprise.
Jessica: Yes Billy, listen to your father, he knows things about women a student studying the female race wouldn't even know. He's had his up close and personal experiences many times.
Chester: Jessica, I'm through with other women. I have been faithful to you for the last two years.
Jessica: I know. I'm sorry. And I've been faithful too.
<Behind them is El Puerco peering into the living room.>
Jessica: And since I'm with you Chester, I'll never look at another man again.
<Jessica slams the window on El Puerco's hands and he falls off the ledge. The camera switches to Eunice and Dutch who are eating something.>
Eunice: Dutch you just don't satisfy me anymore. I want a child.
Dutch: And a child will make you happy?
Eunice: Well no, but at least then I can tell people there's something going on in our bedroom.
Dutch: I'm sorry Eunice but I'm not a piece of meat!
Eunice: But Dutch we use to have such good times upstairs. It's like a different movie was on every night.
Dutch: <Raising his voice.> I'm not the slut I used to be Eunice!
<Everyone turns to look at him. The major walks up to them.>
Major: Is this man bothering you?
Eunice: No gramps.
Major: Then carry on.
<The major salutes them and the organs play as Corinne walks down with Chester in his arms. Maurice then walks down with a lady who looks to be his mother.>
Father: We are gathered here today to bring two young people together. First we have Corinne Tate.
Corinne, do you take Maurice Morinne as your husband?
Jessica: <whispering in Chester's ear.> Corinne Morinne?
Chester: I know the name sounds like a cartoon character.
Corinne: I do.
Father: Then do you Maurice Morinne take Corinne Tate to be your wife?
Maurice: I do.
Father: Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.
<Corinne and Maurice kiss when Ingrid storms into the living room.>
Ingrid Svenson: STOP THE WEDDING!
Maurice: Corinne who is that?
Corinne: Maurice, meet my mother....
To Be Continued......
Announcer: Will Ingrid stop the wedding from starting? Will Dutch learn to satisfy Eunice? How can Eunice be satisfied without being spoiled? What was El Puercho doing at the Tate household? Is Burt starting to believe in Scotty being an alien? Will Danny help Jodie discover his sexuality and if he does continue helping him, will Elaine get jealous? And where are the Martins and will Benson and Tom find them? These questions and many others may be answered in the next episode of
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