Starring:








Also Starring:
Maggie Chandler

Maurice Morinne

Guests:
Mrs. David

Doctor Trombone

Doctor Kirshner

Tom

Jim

Elderly Man

Written By:
Adam
 
SOAP: The Alternate Reality Main Page
  

Episode 28
In the last episode of SOAP Alien Burt was killed by his own weapon. Burt saved Mary and Scotty but that can only be accounted for because he somehow gained extra human strength after he was struck by lightning. When Burt visited Mary at the hospital who got hit on the head with a rock, she couldn't remember who he was but at least she remembered her name. Jodie took Wendy and Maggie with him to Texas to visit Carol but she wasn't home yet. However when Maggie asked Jodie why he left her when he was transformed back from being an Old Jewish Man he understandingly explained to Maggie that Wendy needs a mother who will be around, not one whose away on cases. Elaine apparently is seeing another man when she told Danny there wasn't any reason to work things out between them. Some men are causing more trouble for the Tates and Campbells as they were seem doing bad stuff in Crime Alley. And Maurice is finally heading on home. Confused? You won't be after tonights episode of SOAP!
Tates House
<Dutch is seen carrying a suitcase when Billy walks downstairs.>

Billy: Dutch what are you doing?

Dutch: I'm leaving for a while?

Billy: Why?

Dutch: I have nothing left around here.

Billy: Sure you do!

Dutch: No I don't. My wife left me, I'm useless in the kitchen and I can't hold a job.

Billy: If it's any constellation I haven't gone back to work for months.

Dutch: Yea that helps a little bit but I take up space in this house.

Billy: Well so do I!

Dutch: But you're a kid here.

Billy: You're family too Dutch. Please stay.

Dutch: I'll think about it...

<The doorbell rings and Billy answers it. A delivery man gives it to him and leaves.>

Billy: Ah a package for me. See Dutch if I wasn't home then no one but you would have been able to answer the door. I might have never gotten the package.

Dutch: You mean I could be the man who gets the mail and recieves packages for the family?

Billy: It's a hard job but you're the only man who could do it right.

Dutch: Your right! And it's an important job too.

Billy: That's right and when Eunice finally returns you can be our mailman and her husband again.

Dutch: Oh I don't know about that.

Billy: Well you don't have to keep the job.

Dutch: I'm not going to get back together with Eunice.

Billy: Oh come on. It's not her fault. She just has my fathers genes and it makes her want everyone.

Dutch: I'm sorry. I'm a human being and I can't be mistreated for this.

Billy: It's okay Dutch. Hey look the mailman is here. You better get on your job!

Dutch: You got it!

<Dutch leaves excited and Billy opens up his package. On it is a doll that looks a lot like Billy. The head is chopped off and there's red dye representing blood on it. A note reads "New Years". The phone rings and Billy answers it.>

Billy: Oh hey Maurice! CORINNE get the telephone!

<Corinne runs in from the kitchen and picks up the phone. A split screen between Maurice and Corinne is shown.>

Maurice: I'm coming home.

Corinne: When?

Maurice: Now. I'm on the plane and it's landing in thirty min....utes.

Corinne: What was that pause?

Maurice: There's a little bit of turbulance on the plane.

<The camera shows the plane shaking heavily.>

Maurice: Corinne this isn't good. The plane is going crazy!

Corinne: Is it going to be okay?

<The stewardesses are running around with life preservers around their necks.>

Maurice: Yea everything is going to be just fine. Bye hun...

<Corinne hangs up the phone and Maurice starts screaming for his life.>

Clinic for the Brain Damaged
<Burt is talking to Doctor Trombone.>

Burt: I don't see why Mary has to be institutionalized here.

Doctor Trombone: She obviously has some brain damage after taking two hard knocks on the head. I understand your concern but there's nothing you can do about that. She's in the best place for her.

Burt: Well can I talk to her?

Doctor Trombone: Sure. Just remember, don't mention your marriage. She can go into emmotional rellapse and not remember the right things at the right time. Eventually everything will be back to normal. She's lucky to even know her correct name right now.

Burt: When will she be better?

Doctor Trombone: It could be years if we're lucky.

<Mary slowly walks out and sees Burt and Doctor Trombone.>

Mary: Hi Doctor Trombone. Hi.....

Burt: It's Burt.

Mary: That's right.

Burt: Doctor can we have a few minutes alone?

Doctor Trombone: Only 180 seconds.

<Doctor Trombone walks away.>

Mary: Burt why do you visit me?

Burt: Because I know you very well.

Mary: Do we have a relationship?

Burt: We're ma....friends.

Mary: Oh I see. You're such a wonderful friend.

Burt: Thanks.

<Doctor Trombone walks back to them. Burt goes to hug Mary goodbye.>

Doctor Trombone: That will be enough Mr. Campbell. Mary has special therapy now.

<Burt walks away concerned for Mary and Doctor Trombone gives Burt and evil look. Mary walks into another room. It's very dark and there's two leather chairs. One has a bunch of functions on it and Mary sits there. The other one is normal. Doctor Trombone leaves her there and another Doctor comes in.>

Doctor Kirshner: Hello Mary. I'm Doctor Kirshner. I'm going to be giving you some special tests.

Mary: Okay.

<Doctor Kirshner puts Mary under the gas to knock her out cold. The doctor plugs two objects onto Mary's skull. The doctor speaks into it.>

Doctor Kirshner: Mary. Picture someone. Anyone who seems to have great importance to you. You may not know who she is but envision the person.

<Mary sees a ghostly image of Jessica. She's not dead or anything, she's just a figment of Mary's mind.>

Doctor Kirshner: We will be giving you a gun Mary. It's up to you to remember where this person lives and to kill her. Remember to kill her.

Mary: Kill her.....Kill her....

Doctor Kirshner: Try repeating the woman's name. Maybe you remember it.

Mary: Kill her....Kill Jessica Tate.....Kill Jessica Tate.....

Doctor Kirshner: Very good Mary.

<The doctor laughs evil.>

Mrs. David's House
<Jodie wakes up on a couch in Mrs. David's house. He goes to see Wendy. He sees that Wendy is missing. He wakes up Maggie.>

Maggie: What? It's so early?

Jodie: Wendy is missing.

Maggie: I'm sure she's not.

<Mrs. David comes in with Wendy in her arms.>

Mrs. David: Wendy looked hungry.

Jodie: Oh thanks Mrs. David.

Mrs. David: Carol should be here shortly.

Jodie: Oh good.

Mrs. David: Have a good nights sleep?

Jodie: Pretty good.

Mrs. David: Do you people dream?

Maggie: I think everyone does.

Mrs. David: I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about homosexuals. You know Jodie was my first homo.

Maggie: How interesting.

Jodie: Actually Mrs. David I'm not a homosexual. I'm a bisexual.

Mrs. David: Bisexual?

Jodie: Yea.

Mrs. David: You like crossdressing?

Maggie: He's always done that. Bisexual means he likes men and women.

Mrs. David: Oh hahaahah is that gentically possible?

Jodie: I think we should stop this conversation Mrs. David. You are getting very confused.

Mrs. David: I always am silly!

<Carol walks in and Jodie, Maggie, and Mrs. David pauses. Carol looks at all of them.>

Wendy: Mommy!

Outside of a Convenience Store
<An elderly man is carrying some groceries to his car. Two teenagers approach him and take out a gun.>

Teen 1: Hey you!!! Give me your cash!

Elderly: I don't have much money!!!

Teen 2: Let's slit his throat and take the food Tom!

Teen 1: Good idea Jim!

<Burt comes "flying" in. He stands in front of the elderly man.>

Burt: I'd drop those weapons if I were you!

<The teenager shoots the gun and the bullets bounce off Burt. Burt is surprised over this too. The elderly man faints and the two kids look at each other.>

Jim: Let's get out of here Tom!

Tom: Yea!!

<The kids run away and Burt looks at himself and doesn't understand why he isn't bleeding.>

Burt: That night when I was shocked with lightning something much have happened to me. I feel supercharged. I feel like a Superhero and nobody can stop me!!! You know all Superheroes have a special name. The last name is Campbell. People used to call me Bat. I can call myself Bat Campbell. Wait, not that's a little too obvious. I can wear a disguise like a mask over myself and call me another name. I got it!!!

<The camera fades to black and comes back on. Burt is standing whereing a "Supermanish" outfit with a can of Soup over his chest.>

Burt: You can all call me Super Soup!!!!

Now that the superhero is going to save lives will he be able to stop Mary before she goes and kills Jessica? What kind of therapy is Mary going through and will she actually get her memory back or will she think of herself as a mass murderer? How will Jodie and Carol get along? What will Maggie have to say about this? Who is trying to kill Billy? And what is the fate of Maurice? These questions and many others might be answered in the next episode of SOAP!