| Featuring: |
          |
| Also Featuring: |
Saunders Elaine Lefkowitz Dallas Leslie Walker Tom Martin Dale Westers Ron Johnson |
| Guest: |
Doctor |
| Written By: |
Adam |
| Edited and Posted By: |
Elad Benari |
Bus Ride
<Leslie has Billy sitting in a seat squinting his eyes. She has a gun up to his shoulders. People on the bus are moving away from her and hiding so she doesn't go after them.>
Leslie: Billy Tate, it's been almost two years since we first dated and for the last year and a half I've tried to kill you. You can't leave the bus. No one is going to help you. I will give you your last words so you can think about why I have to do this.
Billy: Leslie you have to hear me out on this. Your nuts, let me take you for some help. It will benefit both of us.
Leslie: No more Billy! I've heard enough from you. Say your prayers!
<As Leslie is pulling the trigger the bus brakes very sharp and the gun flies out of her hands and goes outside the window.>
Leslie: No!!!!!! Billy this is all your fault.
Billy: Come on Leslie we can discuss this when we both leave the bus at the next stop. I know many good counselors...
Leslie: No! Enough with you!!!
<Leslie goes and forces the bus driver to break and she races off the bus running down the road. Passengers start staring at Billy.>
Billy: She's an ex. You know how some people can be when they don't want a relationship ended. Just not most people want to kill you for it....
Campbell's House
<Jodie slowly walks in the living room where Danny is reading a magazine.>
Jodie: Mr. Airhead. I'm sorry I forgot your name again but looking at your smarts I'm sure you've forgotten your name at times as well.
Danny: It does happen. What do you need Jodi.... Julius?
Jodie: I went to the bathroom and sat down and I was getting worried that I was constipated. But it dawned on me that a refrigerator is not in a bathroom, and might I add, a non-kosher refrigerator, and it dawned on me I was in the kitchen. Where is the bathroom.
Danny: It's down the hallway behind me.
Jodie: Thank you, you're a good man.
<Jodie leaves and the doorbell rings. Danny goes to the door and Elaine comes in and gives Danny a huge hug.>
Elaine: Oh Danny!!!!! I've returned! I'm so sorry I ever left. I can't explain myself, but my father had me blackmailed. He couldn't stand the fact I was happy with you. He hired two men to kidnap me and make you pay ransom thinking you would just find me a nuisance. But I left and I don't think those men will ever return. I'm so sorry, I love you.
Danny: I understand Elaine. I'm just happy your safe with me now. They didn't touch you did they?
Elaine: No, I think they were almost scared of me.
Danny: I wouldn't be surprised, you could be viscous Elaine.
<Jodie walks out of the hallway with a smile on his face.>
Jodie: Whose the chick, airhead?
Danny: This is my wife Elaine.
Jodie: Oh your married? You're not for the brainy guys are you honey?
Elaine: Who does he think he is?
Danny: An old Jewish man. It's a long story but he wanted to find his old roots and he was turned into an old Jewish man. He was perfectly fine before, but now he's back to being this old man again.
Elaine: Oh my. Well, I see you've had your hands full.
Danny: That I most certainly have.
Hospital
<Eunice comes in Jessica's room with flowers. She tries waking up Jessica but can't. Eunice looks at the machine and sees it's been unplugged. She leaves and calls in the doctors.>
Doctor: Ms. Lightner, this isn't much of a problem luckily. Your mother didn't really need this extra oxygen.
Eunice: Then when do you suppose she will be better?
Doctor: Honestly it could be any minute to hours. When she awakes we will be able to give her concussion tests. I don't think there is anything for you to worry.
Eunice: Thank you very much.
Hartford First Bank
<Westers and Johnson are standing in front of the ATM machine. The machine prompts them to type in their withdrawal and Westers types $47,000,000. A little ticket says "Your new account balance is $0.53. Thank you Mr. Tate".>
Westers: No Mr. Tate thank you.
Johnson: Westers don't you think we're being greedy by taking all his money?
Westers: What do you suppose numbskull? We only take half and leave the rest of the money for other criminals to take?
Johnson: That wouldn't be a bad idea. I mean this way they can't trace the robbery back to us?
Westers: Yes I'm sure they won't when thirty other criminals confess we gave them the Tates bank card code! Now lets get out of here!
Tates
<Burt is talking to Mary.>
Burt: Chester is back to his old self again.
Mary: Oh that's wonderful!
Burt: Wonderful? He's the most annoying pain I've ever seen! Can't he do anything for himself?
Mary: He just got brutally beaten!
Burt: It doesn't matter! The man is going to make me bonkers if that's even more possible with a wife who thinks are son is an alien and my step son thinking he's an old Jewish man.
Mary: Burt....
Burt: And then we have the grumpiest man on earth who can't even do a thing for himself. <Chester walks in behind Burt.> It's no wonder why the Tates hire Benson. We all know Jessica can't be on her feet all day slaving away for this ungrateful slob.
Chester: The same slob who actually lets you sit at his dinner table every single weekend?
Burt: Oh well hello Chet! I see you're doing much better. Me and Mary were just talking about this other family. Our neighbors actually. They are the laziest people on earth. Funny enough Chester, they're names are Chester and Jessica. What a coincidence!
Chester: Burt, even if you were telling me a good lie, I would have known you're lying. We all know you don't have friends. And your neighbors are practically afraid of you!
Burt: Like you should be talking Chester? I mean your neighbors should think this house is a motel by all the different women who you've kept here for nights.
Mary: Burt that's enough.
Burt: No Mary it's not. I've helped this man since his attack earlier today and he gives me those nasty words? I might as well just walk out on him now!
Chester: Burt, you started when I came in here. Now call the bank and make sure my account is still correct?
Burt: OK Chester, so how much money should I expect for them tell me you have in there? A couple billion dollars.
Chester: Yes Burt, around that much.
<Burt calls the bank. On the telephone he's speaking to an operator.>
Burt: Yes, I'm calling to see the current balance on the account for Chester Tate? Yes, the Chester Tate in Dunn's River. Chester, the secretary I'm on the phone with knows you? She says she had a great time.
Chester: Monica?
Burt: No, Victoria?
Chester: Oh one of the twins!
<Mary gives Chester an evil look.>
Chester: Well I thought there was only one of them......
Burt: So just give us the value of the account. Oh really? That's funny. Bye Victoria!
<Burt hangs up the phone starts laughing.>
Burt: That's funny, I have more money in my bank account.
Chester: How? How much money do I have?
Burt: You have $0.53 left.
<Chester screams running out of the house. Mary runs into the living room and sees Chester is missing.>
Mary: Burt I'll check the basement and if Chester comes back in here just make sure he doesn't faint again.
Burt: All right Mary, and I'm sure you expect me to catch him if faints too....
Tates Basement
<Mary walks downstairs and is startled when she is grabbed by a shadowed figure. She turns around and sees it's Saunders.>
Mary: Saunders! What are you doing here?
Saunders: I have returned to tell you that two men were here trying to steal Chester's money.
Mary: They already did that.
Saunders: We can stop them!
Hospital
<Eunice has been patiently sitting and waiting for Jessica to be better. The doctor comes out and comes up to Eunice.>
Doctor: Your mother seems much better. She has come out of her state of shock. I think it would be best if you came in there now and talked to her.
Eunice: That's wonderful.
<Eunice walks into her room and her eyes boggle out of the socket at the sight that her mother is missing from the hospital bed.>
Eunice: She's gone!
Bus
<Billy is awaiting for the bus to stop for him to get off. The bus brakes quickly again and Leslie arrives back on with a group of other people. She has her gun and Billy is frowning that he can't get a moments rest from her.>
Billy: Come on Leslie. We know you're going to mess this up. Just leave me alone.
Leslie: Not this time Billy. I know I can't take you out so I'll take us both out!
<Leslie nails the bus driver on the head with the gun and people are screaming at the top of their lungs as the bus is going out of control!.>
Billy: You're insane!!! We're about to go over an overpass!
Campbell's
<Jodie is seen having a serious conversation with Bob.>
Elaine: Danny, is he for real?
Danny: I'm afraid so.
Elaine: Isn't there any way to prevent this?
Danny: I've been having Burt read me some books lately on the topic and it's very risky but there is one way to possible reverse all of this.
Elaine: How?
Danny: Well if Jodie lived as this man in a past life, then the man is obviously dead. If I tell him he died maybe the personality will disappear and he will go back to being himself or he will die thinking he's dead. As odd as this sounds it makes the most sense compared to how all of this is.
Elaine: You're right. We have to do this. An hour ago he asked me if I was Jewish and then looked up my dress.
Danny: Oh Julius, I'd hate to break the news but we were going across the graveyard today and you'll never guess whose tombstone we visited.
Jodie: Who? And do you know? It involves reading.
Danny: Yes, it was Julius' Casendorf's!
Jodie: But I'm him.....
<Jodie passes out and everyone looks concerned.>
Bob: I think he's taking a nap.
Elaine: Is Jodie dead? Did we kill him?
Danny: I don't know?
<Danny shakes Jodie and he his eyes open.>
Jodie: Danny? What happened? How did I get here? Last thing I remember I was at that crazy psychiatrists office.
Danny: Don't worry Jodie, at least your back to your old self.
Jodie: That's true. Elaine! When did you get here?
Bob: The second I started having a good time.
Elaine: I have returned Jodie. I escaped from these two kidnappers and I have finally come home. I miss you all and I'm glad your all better.
Taxi
Benson: So we take the taxi home and warn the Tates about Westers and Johnson. We can then tell Burt about them to see if they have a past criminal record. These criminals will be ending soon. <To the driver> Make a right over here.
Tom: Something seems wrong Benson.
Benson: What is it?
Tom: We're moving faster now.
Benson: <To the driver> Is everything okay???
<The driver is not responding. Benson goes and shakes him and he passes out. The taxi is going out of control and Benson and Tom are starting to worry.>
Benson: Well we're getting home either way?
Tom: Which house is it?
Benson: The one we're about to crash into.....
To Be Continued....
Announcer: Will Benson and Tom be able to stop the taxi before it crashes in the Tate household? Will Burt and Chester stop bickering and start working together before Westers and Johnson fly off somewhere far away? How can Chester live without money? Where is Jessica? Can Mary trust Saunders and his information? Will Jodie be normal now? And will Danny and Elaine live a happy marriage together again? These questions and many others may be answered in the next episode of:
SOAP!