| Featuring: |
             |
| Also Featuring: |
Elaine Lefkowitz Dallas Dale Westers Ron Johnson |
| Written By: |
Adam |
| Edited and Posted By: |
Elad Benari |
Tate House
<Everyone starts walking back inside the Tate living room. A few paintings seem to have fallen off but no major damage occured.>
Dutch: I think the bomb passed us.
Chester: This isn't a tornado you idiot. Obviously it was a dud.
Benson: Well Mr. Tate if you listened to me one bit you would have heard me say that I packed cement around the basement so the bomb wouldn't affect the rest of the house. Since Saunders has been busy cleaning the house for you lately, I'm sure you'd love for him to clean the basement too.
Eunice: Thinking about cleaning, I'm quite hungry. Where is Saunders?
Mary: I don't think he came out with us!
<A groan is heard coming from the kitchen. Mary goes in and comes out looking very sad.>
Mary: It's Saunders. I'm going to call 911, he looks very hurt.
Benson: No need. I called 911 outside on the cell phone because Tom's badly hurt. I'm going to take all of them to the hospital. After I drop Tom off, I'll bring Leslie to the county jail. I don't know how much longer she's out for.
Chester: Talking about Leslie, where's Billy?
Jessica: He moved out dear about a month ago.
Chester: Really? No wonder his room stayed so clean.
Jessica: Yes, he lives right in the city.
Chester: I ought to visit him some day. But none the less, Burt get your family out of here, it's been nice seeing you and thank you for the help but since things are fine, I think it's about time you leave.
Burt: It's been a pleasure making fun of you Chester for the last few days. We can finally move on with this chapter in our lives.
Mary: Burt, be nicer.
Burt: Chester, while carrying you to every room, I did notice you lost some weight.
Chester: Why thank you.
Mary: See Burt, it didn't hurt being nice to him for once.
Burt: I can taste my own vomit Mary....
Later that evening at the Tate House
Jessica: I wonder when Benson will be returning. I'm awful hungry.
Eunice: I don't even remember the last time we didn't have a butler cleaning or cooking for us.
Chester: I don't even remember Billy moving out!
<The Major walks downstairs with binoculars.>
Major: There's been a bombing, and I have reason to believe it's the Germans.
Chester: What?
Major: I heard a rattling downstairs a few hours ago.
Jessica: You were in the house? Chester why didn't you go and make sure he was out of the house?
Chester: I thought he was. It's Sunday, he usually thinks he driving the tank.
Jessica: Are you feeling okay daddy?
Major: Well I just wish I stopped those men who were walking by the house earlier this afternoon?
Jessica: Who?
Major: I don't know. They looked very suspicious, but since they were obviously American, I wouldn't dare stop them.
Jessica: I'm sure it meant nothing. I'm famished... <The Doorbell rings.> Ummm... Benson will you get tha... I forgot. I'll get it.
<Jessica answers the door and Police Officer Tinkler is there.>
Police Officer Tinkler: Uh yes Mrs. Tate I'm Chief of Police Tinkler.
Chester: We know.
Police Tinkler: I'm just re-instating the fact sir. I have come to inform you there's been a bombing.
Jessica: Another one?
Police Tinkler: I can see this will be another long night like Peter's murder was....can I have a look around the house? Someone obviously planted it, maybe some clues were left behind.
Jessica: Certainly.
<Police Tinkler is walking all throughout the house up and down the stairs.>
Chester: Seriously Jessica, must we allow him to prowl in our house.
Jessica: It's for our own good. You know what they say, one bombing isn't enough.
Chester: Who says that?
Jessica: All criminals! What? You think when Westers and Johnson find out we're not dead they won't try to bomb us again.
Chester: No. I think they'd run awa....wait, you know who did this?
Jessica: Yes all day.
Chester: Then why didn't you inform Police Tinkler?
Jessica: It just slipped my mind.
<Police Officer Tinkler comes downstairs and Chester stops him.>
Chester: Police Tinkler, my wife has forgotten to inform you on some key information on who did this.
Police Tinkler: That's all right. I'm sure she did that on purpose because I did find some evidence.
Jessica: Oh what?
Police Tinkler: A purse with blueprints in them on the bomb and a journal that belongs to you Mrs.Tate. You are under arrest for the arson of your own home.
Chester: But it's a mistake.
Police Tinkler: What's a mistake is that I haven't convicted your whole family yet!
Chester: It's all a mistake! I'll take you all to court. You, the mayor, the governor, and the sheriff.
Dutch: You really want to take Burt to court?
Chester: Well Tinkler, this isn't the end of this!
Police Tinkler: I know, you're going to be in court. Jessica Tate, you will possibly be sentenced to life.
Jessica: But I didn't do it...
New York
<Westers comes out reading the newspaper.>
Westers: This is working better than ever! The bombing is being reported everywhere. Sooner or later the planted evidence will be found and Jessica will be arrested. Chester has no money to bail her out or get a lawyer. This will be perfect!
Johnson: Let's listen to the radio maybe they already found the evidence.
Westers: I doubt even their police can find the easily discovered evidence this quickly.
Radio Newscaster: The home of tycoon Chester Tate has been bombed. The basement was luckilly the only damaged area. Jessica Tate, the wife of Chester has been arrested and charged for the a rson of the house. So far the only found injuries were from Chester Tate, their butler Saunders, and friend, Tom Martin. Court will soon start for the trial of the Tate house bombing. In other news, Leslie Walker has been arrested on the sight of the Tate house for attempted mur...
<Westers turns off the radio.>
Westers: Oh who needs Leslie.
Johnson: But the house didn't get completely destroyed.
Westers: It was destroyed enough to tear apart the whole family. With Tom Martin hurt he won't be able to testify for Jessica, no one would ever believe Benson, and Jessica won't be believed for anything after the evidence was found. Let's buy a playstation 2!
Johnson: Can I buy a game?
Westers: Sure, but we will only have one controller that's for me so you can watch me play the game.
Johnson: I can't wait!
Campbell House
Chuck: I can't believe you stole my show. I've worked hard for years!
Bob: Blah blah blah, I made you Chuck! You know it!
Chuck: If you're going to be that way I quit the show!
Bob: Fine! I can do without you!
Chuck: Then try!
<Chuck tosses Bob onto the table and leaves him there. The crowd claps for Chuck as it seems he finally can do without Bob. Seconds later Chuck comes back and grabs Bob.>
Chuck: I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted that way. If you want your name first then let it be first. You deserve it!
<Mary, Burt, Danny, Elaine, and Jodie come in.>
Bob: Where the hell have you been?
Mary: The Tates. There was a bombing.
Bob: Anyone die?
Mary: No.
Bob: Too bad.
Danny: Your a nasty hunk of wood.
Bob: And your a ugly dumbass....
<Danny stares at Chuck very very angry.>
Danny: I will give you five seconds to leave before I swear that doll will chopped into a hundred pieces.
Bob: I'm sorry Danny. You're very bright. You should have gone to Harvard. You're only dumb move was marrying a snot like Elaine. Hell if I had the choice of dying or being married to her I'd tell them to blow my brains out.
Danny: Burt do you have your gun?
Burt: Yes.
Danny: Can I shoot him.
Burt: I don't see why not.
Bob: Chuck get me out of here.
Chuck: I don't know. You see if help you that means I saved your life. That also means you owe me one favor.
Bob: You want your name on the show? You got it!!!! Now get me out of here!
<Bob is taken upstairs and Mary stops them for a minute.>
Mary: Chuck, how was Scotty?
Bob: Very good. He was flying around earlier today and got tired and went asleep?
Mary: Oh...
<Chuck and Bob leave.>
Jodie: Flying?
Burt: Yes, when you were a Jewish man your mom apparently went bonkers.
Mary: Burt, I saw him fly and you just heard Bob state he saw it too.
Burt: He's a dummy! Watch! CHUCK get over here.
Chuck: What dad?
Burt: Did you see Scotty fly?
Chuck: No dad, I was in the bathroom when it happened.
Burt: Figures.
Mary: Fine Burt, don't believe me but when those aliens zoom him up on their spaceship don't go and start a whole missing investigation. All they're going to do with him is show him his horny little alien father.
Burt: Mary, it's our child, he has my nose.
Elaine: Well Danny lets go upstairs, I can obviously tell Mary and Burt need to be alone.
Jodie: I'll join you.
<Everyone leaves Burt and Mary alone.>
Mary: I'm sorry Burt, I'm just so worried about the Tates. I mean someone wants them dead.
Burt: Mary, you shouldn't be worried. There's an attempted murder on me almost every day and I'm still with you. See, the Tates were only attempted to be killed once. There's a major difference. It won't be about ten more times until one of those criminals even comes close to hurting them. See this Mary?
<Burt shows the back of his neck with red marks.>
Mary: What is that?
Burt: That was from an ambush two weeks ago. Doctors say it won't ever go away. That was the twentieth murder attempt I've ever had happen to me. They only got my neck! You have me for atleast fifty more attempts Mar....
Mary: I can't wait.....
Suburban Hartford
Billy: I'm absolutely lost. Leslie is looking for me and it's soon getting dark. I really should ask for directions. But then again, I am a Tate so I should be stubborn until midnight. Oh there's a sign to Boston. I'm ready to start a new life in a new state....
Police Station
Jessica: I didn't bomb my house! What motives would I have?
Police Tinkler: It says it all here on our criminal records!
Jessica: What records?
Police Tinkler: The ones we have on our file. It says you were out of money do to stocks going down and you knew by bombing the house you would gain insurance. It even has records of you buying the supplies for the bomb six months ago!
Jessica: I didn't buy anything. I haven't shopped in years! That's what I had Saunders and Benson for my whole life.
Police Tinkler: And then you fired Saunders because you were running out of money.
Jessica: No, I fired him because he was unsatisfactory. If I was running out of money why would I let Benson back?
Police Tinkler: Because you knew you would be bombing the house and have enough money to pay Benson after a month of working for you.
Jessica: That's not true!
Police Tinkler: Tell it to the courts! Your trial begins tomorrow morning.
Boston
<Billy parks his car and looks at his new apartment building.>
Billy: I really should inform the family I've moved to a new house. I also should check on what's going on with those criminals and dad. Oh well, I'm sure I would have heard something already. All I care about is having $20,000 in the bank, a house to live in, and a job waiting for me and I'm finally away from Leslie. Nothing can stop me now!
Radio Newscaster: It's been decided that the trial for Jessica Tate and the Tate House bombing will proceed tomorrow morning in Dunn's River courthouse.
Billy: Well that can stop me....
Announcer: Will Jessica be found guilty for the crime she didn't do? Will Tom survive the hospital? Will Saunders survive the hospital? Will Bob survive living in the Campbell house where everyone hates him? Will Burt survive as being sheriff? Will Mary survive being sober and still thinking her child is an alien? And will Billy survive away from home, starting in a new town? And how will you survive without any of these questions being answered until the next season of
SOAP!